This Blog Will Change My Life* (part 1)

3 03 2010

*Bit of an exaggeration!

Allow me to set the scene…  There I was on a mission to buy some lovely new clothes and yet again I failed. Unless it’s a tee shirt I seem to be incapable of clothes shopping, the universe seems to be against me on that one.

Anyway before I head into a rant about clothes shopping I shall move swiftly on. En route to the bus stop I always pass Magma which has become my new favourite shop. In this shop I find this book:

I have set myself the challenge to follow the tasks set in this book. One each day. To even things out I have done two tasks today. Feels more appropriate to start afresh on a new month, y’know?!

Day 1: Aside from filling out couple of rather funny forms asking for bank details, the explanation of evil and my preffered blood group (with a note to say if the opportunity arises whoever has read this should make sure my blood gets swapped), the first task is pleasingly easy. Options have even been included. Some of the options are: go on a one-minute hunger strike, whisper a white lie when no one’s listening, learn to play “Chopsticks”. Without having a musical intrument to hand to play Chopsticks (admittedly I could have improvised) I decided to go for the insult an insect option. I do hope I didn’t hurt it’s feelings too much. Feeling triumphant from this task I attempted another – hold the phone to my other ear. This was also a success and what with 3 being my favourite number (the book had already asked me) I went for one more task – do one press-up. By far the hardest but I managed it. Just stuck to the one though, didn’t want to push myself too hard.

Day 2: “The Love of Your Life – Today, gaze at everyone wondering whether they might be the one true love of your life, the one destined for you and you alone, and whether you might be passing them by forever… Act in consequence.” I was slightly more picky than the task suggested. To begin with I narrowed down “everyone” to guys, an obvious first step, then fully began my secret task with a hunt for dark hair and beards. Not neccesities but most definitely preferable. I wasn’t brave/not weird enough for full on face to face gazing and most of was done in the seating position to further add to the illusion of normalness and avoid embarrasing injury. All in all I’m not so sure how successfuly this task was completed, furthermore how does one judge the success of this task? Surely not by finding the actual love of your life (although that would be a rather good result) as life is a long time to wait for the results! I may carry on this task over the next few days, purely for my own amusement!

Two down 363 to go!





Task list…

14 01 2010

So I seem to have negleted this blog for a while. It is not forgotten though.

Rather than making New Years resolutions I have found that task lists produce more results. I have have three seperate task lists. This is one of them, thus proving my point about the unforgotten blog and encouraging me to get back on here more regularly.

Over and out. Back soon.





Blue Rinse Style Rant

17 09 2009

Before I begin I would like to apologise for the O.A.P like rant that you are about to face.

So yesterday I had the unfortunate task of going to get my haircut. Now for many this is seen as a pleasurable treat. Not for me. The following reasons will explain why.

To begin with I had to find the place. It seems every other shop has turned into a hairdressers or barbers with some sort of witty name. I’d finally narrowed it down and found myself in a room of mirrors which was occupied by a few people I used to go to school with. Not a great start, especially when I can’t fully remember their names and they all seem to be pregnant (I don’t want to judge but this indicates our priorities and interests may differ, greatly). I find myself dumped infront of a pile of out of date celebrity magazines, mostly featuring Jordan and Peter updates, whilst the hairdressers finish off their conversation about the drunken antics of the previous night.

Galaxy 102 is blaring through the speakers which means I am about to endure two hours of what some people like to call “RnB music”. I like to call it repetitive rubbish (well that’s the polite version anyway). Now I appreciate all sorts of music but I don’t understand how people can endure the utter rubbish being played on Galaxy 102 day in, day out. Nevermind the fact they play the same five songs on repeat each hour but the songs they play all sound the same! That might just be me fully immersing myself in granny mode but I’m pretty sure they all have the same beat and drone on about the same topics. I seriously contemplated putting my headphones in and hoping for the best when scissors were to be involved. I didn’t. Good job really as the hairdresser didn’t seem to realise I had ears. She was constantly apologising for catching them with whatever object she had in her hand. Whilst I’m on the topic of realisation, it was far too delayed for my liking when it came to the words hair, attached and head. I gained an instant (and unnecessary facelift!).

After acrylic nails were stabbed into my scalp several times in an attempt to massage my head whilst washing my hair I was finally ready for the actual cutting. My hairdresser made the most of this, she just. Kept. Cutting! If I hadn’t have stopped her I think I might be sporting a short back and side now. Despite all the cutting however, I still cannot see much out due to the hair covering my eyes. This is strange logic to me!

However, after my hair was attacked by many products and an elaborate hair drying style I left with a rather lovely bouffant. I will not be able to recreate this, no matter how hard I try.

It looks good while it lasts though.





A Guitar and a Challenge

16 09 2009

Learning an instrument seems to be a lot harder than I had originally thought. I have always wanted to be able to play an instrument properly whether it be the piano (my current musical desire), the drums (my instrument of choice if I were in a band) or the guitar (my current challenge). I play a decent enough recorder but this raises the question of what exactly does a decent recorder sound like. It isn’t exactly the most pleasant of instruments. I know how to play because of school requirements more than anything-it was either the recorder or the choir. There was also a small phase of being taught how to play keyboards but after learning three chords, which I have since forgotten, my Mother stopped paying for lessons. Fair enough as after a while my attendance at these lessons was rare, I was a very shy child and had become increasingly embarrassed about asking to be excused from lessons to go and learn the keyboard. Anyhow, many years later here I am complaning to my Mum about her not forcing me to learn an instrument as a small child.

I’ve got my hands on an acoustic guitar and some beginners guitar books. I’m working my way through them, slowly. So far all I seem to have achieved is hard fingertips and a state of confusion.

Chords-there are so many to remember but the thing that gets me is the position of the fingers. If it was possible to tie fingers in knots then I’m sure my left hand would be useless by now.
Strumming-I can strum down, I can strum up but the combination of down and up and down again isn’t as much of a smooth motion as many people make it out to be. Not just yet anyway.
Holding the guitar-No matter how many different positions I hold it in I feel like a hillbilly or country folk singer type. I’m hoping this will be overcome quite soon.

I’ve been told that the first part is the hardest, i.e. learning chords, strumming etc and once you pick that up it’s easy. Surely once I’ve learnt the chords and how to strum I can play guitar! Putting the chords in order and turning the strumming into some sort of rhythm is learning how to play a song. That would be a whole other challenge that my “skills” haven’t advanced to yet.

Will hopefully keep you posted about my improvement!





Are we there yet?

24 08 2009

At 21 that is a phrase I rarely use. To be honest I didn’t really use it much as a child either. Armed with my “stuff to do bag” I could happily amuse myself for hours. But today I am fighting the urge to harasse my stepdad about the countdown to my freedom. I’m squashed i the back of the car with my little sister who is making her way through the various stages of tired i.e giddy, moody, weepy, and my 6 foot odd brother who has solved the tired problem by falling fast asleep and sprawling himself across as much of the back seat as possible. I don’t mind this so much. I didn’t even complain when my brother lashed out in his slepp which made me stab myself in the arm with a pencil (I just think of it as a war wound from the journey!) But the insistence to have Heart fm blaring from the speakers, and subsequently the sat nav on full volume, is driving me insane. We’re on a motorway, it’s pretty straightforward. I don’t understand why Mr TomTom, in this case a camp sounding Clint Eastwood, has to pipe up so often.
Headphones are in and Metallica turned up full blast just about drowns out my Mum singing along to Ebony and Ivory. She’s excited that we’re on a family trip. She has reason to be so chirpy, she has leg room and the food.
I gaze out the window wondering if the sheep & cows are purposely put in fields near motorways to amuse passengers on long journeys…





Untitled?

18 06 2009

If like me you are  searching for a blog title then look no further, “The Random Desi Blog Title Generator” is here. Perfect if unlike me the title you were going for is something to do with armpits, seemed to be a running theme.